Epic Rap Battles of Irk - Strelok Vs Tex

[Strelok] Tallest forbid I am ordered to deliver mercy
Because I fight with strength - fiercely
Every movement calculated, I am the perfect killer
If I was a movie genre, I am an action thriller
You are just an idiot in a cowboy hat
I mean seriously, what is that?
Head to the Mountains - like Brokeback
My soul is the absence of light - pitch black
Like my superiority - that's a fact
Once your dead, I can go fulfill a real contract
Even my trench coat is cooler than your's
When I enter buildings, people drop to the floor
I collect debts, bounties and even souls
I am the best in the Empire, check the polls
The only people who disagree are internet trolls
Now head off back to your ship, leave it to a pro
Roar like the fist of the Empire
Knight of violence, you're a squire
Nothing can stop this lyrical fire
If you disagree, you're a liar
Now back off heretic, I am off again like a nomad
How sad, in bedtime stories your friends call me the big bad

[Tex] You are a collage of references, not good ones either
That trench coat? Makes you look more like a perverted creeper
What ya hiding under that mask, big guy?
I could rip it off and see, but I'd probably cry
You think you can beat me in this game of torment?
You couldn't even beat me in the Blood Sport tournament
You are rough and tough but with hardly any skill
You are just an errand boy, trying to pay a bill
I have a ship and a crew, plenty of ladies
You should really try and get laid occasionally
But then again, not even a Vortian would have your baby
You hang around with Sanavava, she's pretty hot
Not like you have a chance, the only thing you liplock
Are pistol triggers, against thugs with no fingers
Fear lingers, I can see it through your visor
When it comes to being afraid of me, do ya get tired?
So how about ya just give up now?
Once I am done with you, ya'll eat from a trough
Ya think it is clever implying I am gay?
I wonder what you really do to get paid

[Strelok] I am the Repoman, you have a metal arm
You're a wannabe human, go live on a farm
Learn to earn a real pay, instead of posing all day
You're muscles are hardly practical, simply laughable
What is your work out routine, lifting fake anvils?
You'd do anything to impress a woman and that makes you weak
Don't try to sweet talk me, with your head under my feet
You have no idea if I am a guy or girl
For real, if I took off this helmet I'd be scared
Because out of every pick up line, none would be sparred
I am up for a rematch, watch me rip off that other arm
Because I know you would do me no harm
Up your skinny ass I would shove it
Not much room, past your head up there - dammit
Oh well, so much for your epic wit
Like a snitch, your mouth - I'll stitch
I'm more than a mercenary traveler
I'm the embodiment of Imperial power
In height, over the average - I tower
What you call murder to me is a paycheck
Your life is just another card in the deck
Back away from Sana, because I'm the game dealer
As her bodyguard, I'd never let you feel her
The only thing your arm turns on
Are metal detectors at Vort's pirate-con
You may be a ladies man, but I am a soldier of the people
You are the tower, on a broken ass steeple
As relevant as an Irken religion
You're a disease - like head pigeons
You're a disgrace, I hate to look at your face
Go home and dress up in a human dress with some lace
Step down before I pillage your entire tradition
Revolutionary, I am the leader for the new evolution
Defects like you only add to the pollution
I am Strelok, the solution
And the Final Absolution

[Tex] Ya'll a bigot, nothing funny about it
As a Smeet, I bet you were nothing but a prick
You were an academy, school yard bully
Probably hated on other's for their eye colour, how silly
Just like your entire gimmick
And I don't care if you didn't have a dick
Even though my looks in comparison would make you do a backflip
Now go throw a fit and huff around some more
But don't get your dumb cape stuck in the revolving door
You think you got me figured out, I have something else in store
It is hardly even worth it, fighting you is such a bore
Like playing a video game without a high score
I am lyrically profound and culturally enriched
I read a little Shakespeare while I kick your ass with it
But you are such a xenophobe, I bet you are scared of human books
In the same way, people are terrified by your less than stellar looks
You're a crook, you stole that look from your virtual comic books
The try hard cool guy, probably with a blind eye and an ugly tattoo on the thigh
I imagine you in a Halloween costume, trying to fly
Poor little Strelok, why do you even try?
You play dress up and try to impress me?
Are you overcompensating, I mean, honestly
I am concrete in my sexuality, you're all ambiguous
As a guy, I'd hardly take you serious
If ya were pretty under that thing, I'd be surprised
Because I bet you have ugly scars and bags under your eyes
Now run home to your not-girlfriend
After all, she's the only one close to you who is not dead